""Sneaking up behind you so I can murder you with a wooden post? Don't be ridiculous. Take my picture.""
-Jarret Berenstein

"And there were, also, two thieves who were crucified, alongside."
-kitzi

"Vampire John said "I've conquered sunlight, wooden stakes, and cargo shorts, so why can't the Mets make me proud this season?" "
-Melanie

"Sean could always find a parking spot."
-Jed

"Burger? Stephen? Stal? Boin? Crun? Fun???"
-Eric

"On a site much like this in Miami, Florida the first Burger King was opened in 1954."
-Henry Safer

"everyone has a cross to bear, even the king. (but you'd need an Elvis suit.) "
-Barbie Ross

"Sean Taylor exacting revenge on Barton Orchards for their poor selection of Golden Delicious."
-Dan Benjamin

"Sean always knew Stephen King was a vampire. And now Stephen King is gonna die."
-Starr Kendall

"The punishment for wearing cargo shorts in the south: CRUCIFIXION! "
-Trevor Williams

"I'm mounting this stolen parking sign next to the quicksand. Why? Because I'm a dickhead Mets fan in bayou country, and this is the best thing I could think of to do here. "
-Patrick Inglis

"TayTayking it to the next level."
-Desiree

"Sean taking advantage of the fact that Bedford Hills, NY (population 362) was recently declared a monarchy."
-Dan Benjamin

""All Hail the King of the Crooked Sunglasses!" the crowd mockingly shouted, as he was made to stand there and hold his own cross. He was later heard to exclaim, "Father please forgive them." At which point Mr. Taylor walked out of a Porto-John and said to son, "Quit playing with your dinghy!" This line, while contextually inappropriate is one of my favorite lines from the film "Tommy Boy". And who am I you may ask? Well I'm Shawn Wickens and I coach improv. "
-Shawn

"Yeah, King of Ruining My Great Shot of the Treeline."
-Dan Benjamin

"You think that shadow's something?? Wait 'til you see the tree that cast it! "
-Cliff Campbell

"I knew I was in for a rough few hours the minute my new photographer friend told me his name was Pontius."
-Cliff Campbell